How a CIO can disagree without being disagreeable

CIOs must make decisions on a wide range of issues, which often means disappointing someone who has a completely different view. An effective leader knows how to disagree with team leaders, colleagues and business partners without gaining a reputation for being a disagreeable person. A CIO can help make or break a business, said Judy Murrah, who has held CIO posts at Motorola Solutions and Applied DNA Science. She believes that a CIO must be able to use every technique in the book to facilitate optimal management decisions. “Debate and disagreement are a natural part of the process; however, an unpleasant attitude isn’t.” Over time, this can erode trust in the CIO’s perspective, leading to suboptimal outcomes. Many CIOs unwittingly fall into the curse of knowledge, assuming that the other parties have the same technical insight or analytical perspective, said Cheryl Fenelle Dixon, principal at marketing and strategy firm Perfectly Clear Communications and an adjunct professor at Columbia University. “When disagreement comes from that mindset, it can sound rigid or dismissive,” she warned. A CIO’s role is unique in that it demands both strategic vision and operational excellence, said Jenn Christison, a consultant, coach and workshop facilitator. “Driving innovation often means introducing significant change, which is inherently disruptive,” she said. To lead effectively, the CIO must be perceived as a trusted partner. “People are more likely to trust and collaborate with leaders they enjoy working with. Disagreeing respectfully ensures that relationships will remain strong, even when perspectives differ,” she added.

Emotional intelligence

A CIO with emotional intelligence — the ability to understand, manage and use one’s own emotions, as well as to recognize and influence the emotions of others — will be able to read and react to any negative body language at the table, Murrah said. The CIO will see potentially harmful shadow IT workarounds take shape and become introspective as to the cause. In many cases, they will receive and adjust to direct feedback from executives and colleagues. CIOs can tell if they are disagreeable if employees tend to shut down around them. “A good leader inspires psychological safety and encourages open discussion,” said Abbe Depretis, an associate teaching professor of business communication at Carnegie Mellon University’s Tepper School of Business. “If employees feel unsafe expressing thoughts or ideas, and don’t talk in meetings, it’s a sign that the CIO has shut them down too many times.” Disagreement is a foundation for disruption and innovation, but it can either build trust or erode it depending on how it is approached, Dixon said. “The ability to disagree without being unpleasant creates space for open dialogue and encourages creative problem-solving.”

Successful approaches

Murrah said she prefers to transfer internal debates from a qualitative to a quantitative focus. “By clearly and confidently presenting an issue’s pros and cons, benefits and risks, I usually find that the group appreciates my firmness and sees me as personally reasonable and professionally accountable in driving a course of action.” CIOs should always consider how they can deliberately incorporate approachability into their communication efforts, Christison said. “Examples include regularly inviting feedback, genuinely acknowledging concerns and consistently communicating the ‘why’ behind decisions,” she said. “These habits reinforce trust and make change easier to navigate.” Murrah said she strives to be approachable, encouraging team members to offer fresh ideas while feeling unconstrained to point out areas with significant risk. “An approachable leader treats this information with confidence and confidentiality, and recognizes good ideas, facilitates brainstorming solutions, and avoids taking retribution.”

Avoiding mistakes

The biggest communication mistake a CIO can make is being a poor listener, according to Depretis. “The best CIOs practice active listening — they pay attention, withhold judgment and ask questions if they don’t understand something.” Depretis also stressed the importance of maintaining control during conversations, ensuring that discussions don’t stray too far from their original purpose. “Keeping people on track should be done in a nudging, rather than a totalitarian way,” she said. Depretis offers an example: “I think this idea is a really good one, but I’m not sure it pertains to this specific project — I’d like to table it until our next meeting so that we can give it our attention then.” Another common misstep is underestimating the impact technological change can have on team members. “Even well-intentioned leaders can [inadvertently] minimize how disruptive new systems feel to employees, leading to resistance and frustration,” Christison said.