Can We Use AI To Feel Less Lonely?

Loneliness has been described as the silent epidemic of the modern age. We are more connected than ever, yet lonelier than ever before. Nearly half of all Americans report feeling lonely sometimes or always according to a recent study by Cigna. Young adults, ages 18-22, are the loneliest generation, with four in five reporting feelings of loneliness. This makes one pause, considering that these are also the most active users of social media.

(Un)fortunately, more online connections do not automatically translate into more social bonding. Quality beats quantity and offline matters more than online when it comes to interpersonal connections. AI has been lauded as a miracle cure to loneliness, with chatbots as companions, and personalized AI coaches to follow our every step. But is it as simple as that?

The Multidimensional Nature Of Loneliness

Loneliness is the cause and consequence of a complex interplay of cognitive, emotional, and physical experiences and expressions. Its effect hence extends far beyond mental health, contributing to physical ailments such as cardiovascular disease, weakened immune systems, and increased mortality risk. Chronic loneliness can raise the risk of premature death by 26% according to research published in the National Library of Health.

In 2023 U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murth launched an advisory, that highlighted loneliness as a serious public health issue, comparing its impact to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. These statistics illustrate the interplay of our physical and mental well-being. To truly grasp the challenge we must consider the multidimensionality of human experience:

Cognitive Dimension

Loneliness often manifests in thought patterns that reinforce isolation. Individuals may develop beliefs about their unworthiness of connection or the hostility of the social world around them. These cognitive distortions can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, further isolating the individual.

Emotional Landscape

The feeling of loneliness is intimately tied to a spectrum of emotions—sadness, anxiety, fear, and even anger. These emotions don’t exist in isolation but interact with and amplify each other, creating a complex emotional tapestry that influences behavior and perception.

Physical Experiences And Expressions

Loneliness manifests physically, often described as an “ache” or “emptiness.” The body responds to social isolation similarly to how it reacts to physical pain, highlighting the deep evolutionary roots of our need for connection. When we feel lonely we may either withdraw further, or engage in frantic social activity, either way reinforcing our sense of disconnection.

Aspirational Aspect

At its core, loneliness often reflects unfulfilled aspirations for connection, belonging, and understanding. These aspirations are fundamental to the human experience and drive much of our social behavior.

This interconnection between our “human hardware” (our physical bodies) and our “human software” (our mental and emotional states) highlights the need for a holistic approach to well-being. As we navigate an increasingly hybrid environment—blending physical and digital interactions— it matters to reassess and consciously address this relationship.

Overcoming Our Hybrid Connection Hurdles

As AI becomes a central part of our daily lives, its potential to combat loneliness presents both opportunities and risks. AI-driven technologies—such as chatbots, virtual companions, and social robots—aim to offer companionship, especially for isolated individuals like the elderly. Products like ElliQ, an AI social robot, provide conversation, reminders, and entertainment, potentially easing the loneliness often associated with aging. However, while AI can simulate interaction, it cannot replicate the depth or authenticity of human relationships, risking further isolation if overused as a substitute for real human contact.

Beyond this, human relationships offer something that AI cannot: the power of human touch. The importance of touch in regulating emotions, easing depression, and fostering well-being has been highlighted by recent research by Tu Dresden. Specialized nerve fibers known as C-tactile afferents respond to gentle touch, releasing oxytocin—often called the “love hormone”—which enhances feelings of safety and connection. This biological response underscores how human touch plays a critical role in mental and emotional health, something that AI cannot replicate.

AI Neither As Cause Nor Consequence of Loneliness

AI amplifies the complexity of our social experiences. While it can provide temporary relief and comfort, it cannot address our deep human need for reciprocal relationships. While it has the power to connect us to other humans, beyond distances and time zones, it also creates a false sense of closeness, which may exacerbate isolation. Social media may offer the perception that we have a wide-reaching, diversified network of “friends”, but leaves a shale taste of emptiness.

(Take a moment to analyze your online “connections” – which of those individuals that you are linked with on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram etc. do you know; and who do you feel would be there for you if you were in need?)

Sometimes less is more, especially when it comes to online action. Reducing social media use can significantly decrease loneliness and depression as shown by research from the University of Pennsylvania, illustrating the nuanced relationship between technology and human connection.

AI is neither the problem nor the solution to loneliness, Like many other arenas that are amplified by AI, humans are the point of departure. AI is a means to an end. It is up to us how we harness it. Can we use it consciously to curate our relationships offline?

Moving Forward – TOGETHER

To leverage AI effectively without sacrificing human connection, the TOGETHER framework offers practical strategies:

T – Tech as a Tool, Not a Replacement AI should complement, not replace, human interaction. For example, AI-powered chatbots can help refine communication skills by providing immediate feedback, allowing users to rehearse difficult conversations or work through thoughts before engaging in real-world discussions. In corporate environments, AI could also suggest conversation starters or reminders for leaders to check in with their teams, ultimately enhancing human interaction rather than replacing it.

O – Open Conversations Reducing the stigma around loneliness is critical to creating open dialogues. For instance, workplace wellness programs can include discussions on mental health and loneliness during regular meetings, encouraging employees to share experiences without fear of judgment. In educational settings, schools can introduce “connection circles” where students are prompted to talk about their social experiences, helping to normalize conversations about loneliness.

G – Genuine Human Connections Structured opportunities for face-to-face interaction are essential. Companies could organize team-building activities or in-person social events that promote real-world connections. For families, scheduling a weekly no-tech dinner can provide space for undistracted, meaningful conversations. Community centers could also create “technology-free zones” where people gather for activities like board games or group exercises that foster interpersonal interaction.

E – Emotional Intelligence Development Emotional intelligence is becoming more critical in the age of AI. Practical steps may include EQ training within organizations, such as teaching employees how to recognize emotions, manage conflict, and develop empathy. Parents and educators can encourage children to practice emotional literacy by discussing their feelings and learning to express empathy through group activities and reflective conversations.

T – Thoughtful Technology Use Implementing mindful tech habits is key. A simple strategy is practicing digital sunsets, where devices are turned off at least an hour before bedtime to foster in-person interactions or self-reflection. Families might set daily “unplugged hours” where all devices are put away to promote bonding time, or companies can introduce “device-free meetings” to ensure attendees are fully present.

H – Holistic Well-Being Focus Addressing loneliness means recognizing the interconnectedness of mental, physical, and social health. Companies can incorporate social wellness into their health programs by encouraging employees to engage in team sports or wellness challenges that build both fitness and camaraderie. Similarly, healthcare providers can recommend social activities as part of a treatment plan for loneliness, recognizing that physical and social well-being are deeply intertwined.

E – Ethical AI Advocacy AI must be developed with social responsibility in mind. For example, organizations could implement AI impact assessments that evaluate how new AI tools will affect social interactions and community cohesion. Governments and tech companies can work together to create ethical guidelines ensuring AI is used to support, not undermine, human connection.

R – Reflect and Adapt Regularly reassessing the role of technology in our social lives is essential. Businesses can conduct “connection audits” to evaluate the quality of employee interactions and whether technology is enhancing or hindering workplace communication. On a personal level, individuals can periodically reflect on their tech habits and make adjustments—like scheduling more in-person meetings instead of relying on virtual check-ins.

TOGETHER Ahead

AI is a means to an end. The real opportunity that comes with it does not lie in choosing between artificial entities and natural counterparts, but in creating harmony between the two.

Society is an organically evolving kaleidoscope, just like each of us. AI is part of this evolution, and whether it helps or hinders our social flow depends on our – human – ability to adapt and prioritize interpersonal relationships. AI may either drive us further apart or bring us closer TOGETHER. The choice is ours to make.